Friday, July 16, 2010

why I’ve been gone so long.

I had a dream one night where we were all becoming mindless robots.

I’m worried about that. Worried about living a life without meaning. I think we all should be at some level. I believe that’s part of what it is to be human. Many things that I won't go into here led up to this realization, but I'm deciding to do something about it. I have to.

So I’m readjusting my attention to things that are more grounded. Instead of trolling the internet looking for humans, I’m meeting them in person. There’s a group of like-minded moms that meet for coffee and support. Reading blog after blog looking for something to make me smile has been replaced with a running conversation through the day with my sisters (love the internet for that).
I catch myself when I’m bored or annoyed turning to facebook or the blog reader and am making a conscious effort to turn it off and deal with whatever it is that I am avoiding, spending time with the family, neighbours or making some art (or bread) instead. I’m even reading a real paper book for the first time in a long time. And, yes, it does feel better than the shallow un-focused existence. I just didn’t know how to get here before.

So where does that leave this blog and my shop? I don’t know yet. I’m sure I’ll return to blogging. I’ve always enjoyed doing it for myself, not the readers. It really bugs me that I can’t put lots of pictures on here and do it properly, though, a problem that I’m sure technology could solve if I threw some money at it.
The shop, maybe not. I can be creative without the hassle of listing and promoting. I always thought it would be a good back up if I got laid off – I could easily throw it into high gear – but this doesn’t seem like quite enough anymore. It challenged me creatively, that I will miss for sure, but I’m sure I can find that passion elsewhere. I keep going back and forth on this one.

So that’s where it stands. I’m having trouble articulating all of this because I’m still in the middle of it. And this is, of course, the abridged version. If you have any thoughts, please comment, I’d love to hear it.



  1. I feel the same way about the internet - it's great to connect with people, but it's really only up to a certain point. I feel that lack, certainly. There is a sort of emptiness in this computer world. And it seems like the more I do on the computer, the more there IS to do, and then I forget to just BE. It takes time away from my family and my art. It's a bit of an addiction, I find.
    Thanks for your honesty.

  2. Balance might be the key. I hope you continue to create whether it's 'for sale' or not. The store is a great hobby and way to have your work shown in a way. :)

  3. This is very thought provoking. Thanks for writing this. I am just starting out with crafting and an etsy store and can't believe how much time I spend on the computer. You are right Rozzie. I need to make sure I find a balance too. Thanks again for bringing this up Gisele:)

  4. Hi, just wanted to drop in and say hello. I think there's a lot of what you're feeling going around lately..I've been trying not to think about how silent my shop has been. How this is affecting me. How much of what running an online business takes away from my day being outside and how much of it keeps me glued to my monitor. I understand, empathize. I wish I had an answer:) But I think you struck a chord when you mentioned 'balance.' Balance and patience..and Faith. Have a good weekend, Gisele:)

    All my best,

  5. I know this is a very late comment to the post but I do have to say it's great idea to have the coffee get togethers! I think so many mom's find themselves so busy after kids they forget to take a step back and leave the house with out the kids to enjoy a good uninterrupted conversation!

    Whether you have kids or not... do you remember to put the computer down... shut the phone off and once in awhile learn to say no when everyone in your life is wanting something... all just to go out and talk over coffee... I know I don't!

    We should all take a page from your book Gisele!

  6. catching up here, but I took the whole summer off. I have no trouble dropping everything for friends - or volunteering, or the swimming pool with my girls. But I MISSED blogging, or rather, the idea of it. I was never very consistent, I just have these stories in my head I want to share. I also love going back to read what happened before, as a journal. So, I am going to make a concerted effort to blog, for me, while overall trying to cut back on my computer time.