This picture only captures a fraction of the elegance of my Auntie’s beautiful horse.
Anyone here like funerals? The official, formal part, I mean. Didn’t think so.
I’m starting to form a real dislike for them. I find that the real healing, satisfying part happens before and after the actual funeral. I don’t remember much about my grandmother’s funeral, what I do remember is sitting around at my aunt’s house visiting with my cousins, aunts and uncles in the days before and after and that just being together was comforting. My grandfater’s funeral was exactly 5 minutes long, followed by tea at the senior’s center and then home again. I cried all the way home. I felt alone.
When my grandmother on the other side passed away we gathered in the carport and built a casket together. I painted a big swirly letter B on it in her favourite color of blue (hippies? yes.). Working together on it filled the need to commemorate that I think funerals try to fill.
This weekend the family gathered again at my aunt’s house. No funeral this time for my cousin who had passed away. We played cards, ate pizza and homemade pie and visited. Cousins gathered from all over.
It’s what we all needed, no formal service required.
I’m starting to think why bother with a funeral at all, when, for me at least, it’s the gathering of family and friends that is important and healing.
Am I missing something? Agree or disagree? Please comment.