Progress:

The last thing I wrote about was being so excited about starting the You Are Your Own Muse photography class.  And then I disappeared which usually means there’s stuff going on I don’t know how to write about yet.  The class has been as awesome as predicted, full of learning.  Which means starting at a certain point, struggling, figuring things out (learning) and eventually coming out the other end better than when you began. 

I am at the struggling part right now. 

I haven’t quite hit my stride with it yet, but I keep trying new things and my eyes keep opening wider.

 

The biggest challenge for me is letting go of my expectations of myself.  I had these airy ideas of beautiful photos I would make, exposing some ideal spark of goddessness.  But life is not all sunbeams and twirly skirts, my friends.  Some days are hard, and, yes, that too gets caught on film.

 

I had this idea that I would go out in the forest by myself for a couple of magical hours and come back triumphant with stunning, perfect, happy photos in hand.  But I’ve realized that would only happen in an alternate universe where I have extra time (without kids responsibilities or distractions) to skip in the daisies.  And I know that I wouldn’t be happy with more than a couple of those photos anyway as that’s just not (my) reality.

 

My photos will be imperfect.  My photos will reflect My reality.  And I will try to love what I see there for what it is.

 

 

I’d love to take blocks of time to do formal photo shoots, but I don’t really have blocks of time available so pictures will be taken when I have a minute, when inspiration strikes, and when it feels best to do it.  This realization is making me so happy right now.  I am giving myself the freedom to do this course my way.  Still seriously (I do lots of stuff labeled “homework”), but organically, rather than (self-)imposing rules.

 

 

About Possibilities

I dreamt the assignment was to take pictures of green things.  I had quite the collection of blurry abstract images - the stripe on a mitten, part of a toothbrush, part of my iris.  I woke with a start with iphone in hand ready to shoot.  Sleepwalking again.

I'm about to start Vivienne McMaster's self-portrait photography class (here, I think there's still a space or two left), and I'm just a little bit excited (obsessed).

I'm interested in taking photos (and making art) that tell a story.  I can make a pretty picture but I want to make something that conveys something more.

(I recently found this book - have not bought it but it's on this very subject.)

I'm not cute or precious. But it would be easy to take that picture.

I'm worried I'll look and not find anything beautiful.  Quirky, maybe, but beautiful?

I'm worried that in the pursuit of beauty I'll completely miss the point. That I'll end up with a bunch of pretty but shallow pictures.

But most of all I'm just excited.  I'm excited about getting out the camera and making something. 

I'm excited about possibilities.

Triumphant Muffins!

The other day I stepped out of the shower and realized I had forgotten to wash my hair! 
I was daydreaming about muffins.  Perfectly domed, moist and delicious gluten-free multigrain muffins.  Oh my, they sent my heart a pitter patter.  Just look at these:

Hard to resist, I know.  OK, so maybe this isn't so exciting to all of you so let me explain.  I'm not good at following recipes.  Or patterns, or directions of any kind really.  I get lost in my own town.  really.  It's a small town and I've lived there since the 7th grade. I've made so many bad muffins; flat, hard, soggy, bland, fallen muffins.  And now that I'm wheat-free (and now mostly gluten-free) I'd completely given up on ever making my own muffins again.  I can be good at other things, I told myself.

Enter these babies. 

Shauna of Glutenfreegirl fame has figured out multigrain gluten free flour.  Take a look at her post here.  It's all about getting the right proportions of flours to get that perfect muffin texture (gluten free baking is all about getting the texture right).  And she lists them all (in categories. it's not complicated, I promise) so you have so much freedom to choose.  Now, I didn't actually use her muffin recipe as she cooks by weight and I refuse to convert.  What I did was take the proportions in her flour mix, made my own flour mix and used my own recipe.  The muffins in the picture are Sunny Cranberry Multigrain Muffins.  But they're long gone now.  And there's a smile on my face.

(I'm still tweaking the recipe otherwise I'd post it.  Just one more batch ; ) It's for research.)

(even the hubby went back for seconds and he doesn't normally like cranberries.  or nuts.  or multigrain.)

Work in Progress or Hockey Mom

I realized that I've done a couple of projects and not shown you pictures.  This one is a work in progress that I've been working on while my oldest daughter takes skating lessons.  It's a shirt for the little one.  I'm not loving the randomness of the design but I'm working with what I started.  Do you ever have second thoughts after starting a project?

I just love the handmade ribbon that I found (here).  It makes the shirt.  You'll have to take my word for it as it's hard to see much in this photo from my iPhone.  I don't know why it turned out all grainy - I've obviously got some learning to do on that.  My thinking is that a grainy photo is better than no photo which is what you'd have if I waited to download pictures off of the real camera.  Good thing for the iPhone, I just don't get to the real computer at home very often anymore.  I think this is ok, as it means I'm playing with the kids or creating something in the kitchen instead, and doing internet on the bus.

On Funerals

This picture only captures a fraction of the elegance of my Auntie’s beautiful horse.


On funerals

Anyone here like funerals? The official, formal part, I mean. Didn’t think so.

I’m starting to form a real dislike for them. I find that the real healing, satisfying part happens before and after the actual funeral. I don’t remember much about my grandmother’s funeral, what I do remember is sitting around at my aunt’s house visiting with my cousins, aunts and uncles in the days before and after and that just being together was comforting. My grandfater’s funeral was exactly 5 minutes long, followed by tea at the senior’s center and then home again. I cried all the way home. I felt alone.

When my grandmother on the other side passed away we gathered in the carport and built a casket together. I painted a big swirly letter B on it in her favourite color of blue (hippies? yes.). Working together on it filled the need to commemorate that I think funerals try to fill.

This weekend the family gathered again at my aunt’s house. No funeral this time for my cousin who had passed away. We played cards, ate pizza and homemade pie and visited. Cousins gathered from all over.

It’s what we all needed, no formal service required.

I’m starting to think why bother with a funeral at all, when, for me at least, it’s the gathering of family and friends that is important and healing.

Am I missing something? Agree or disagree? Please comment.

I love you, Etsy, but...

Change is in the air, can you feel it?  Maybe it's just in my house.  I have a feeling that 2011 is a year for going inward, for simplifying, and finding great joy that is in the nooks and crannies of our lives.  I can't wait, actually, and I feel better already.  Like making the intention has already started the process.

It is in the spirit of simplifying that I have to tell you that I'm closing down my Etsy shop, at least mostly (I have some inventory I'd love to get rid of).   I have a full time job with long commute and a young family.  It's time to concentrate my energy inward and on things that really matter.  I'm glad I did it - I learned so much about online business, working as an artisan; it pushed me creatively in so many ways and has been an experience that I will always be thankful for.  I don't have to think 'what if I had done that' because I did.  I acted boldly and was greatly rewarded.  I think if I had more time to dedicate to an Etsy store I could really make it work, and maybe in the future, when things change (things always change) I will be back.  

So for now, if you'd like something from my shop get it quick.  Otherwise I'm more than happy to do custom orders, in fact I'm hoping to have more time for them now, and they have always been the most exciting things.  I'm hoping to have more time to work on my own art, and projects for my family.  I'm excited for the new beginning.

Felt Ornament Tutorial

My daughter wanted to show you how to make these lovely Christmas tree ornaments.   She's 6.  I'm sure this project would not take too long if you didn't take as many breaks for pictures (we had to do it over 2 days due to attention spans.).  She says hopefully yours will look as pretty as hers at the end.

1) Cut two pieces of felt.  We used a plastic lid as a template.

2) Decorate! This is the fun part!  You can stitch or glue to attach things to your ornaments.

3) Put both sides together right sides out.  Sew most of the way around.

3) Stuff.  We used scraps from another project.

4) Sew the rest of the way around and tie a knot.

5) Add a loop of thread or yarn.

6) Hang your new ornament with pride and congratulate yourself on a job well done.

The ornament on the left was little sister's project - we didn't write a tutorial for that.  

I cut the circle and she cut and glued the decorative bits on.  Perfect for a three year old.